My thoughts shared

                In a world of busyness it's so easy to get tangled up in things that simply don't matter. In the end it won't be our jobs, cars, houses, phones, etc. standing next to us but our family, our loved ones. They are what matters.
                I have come with the realization that a broken home is not just where parents and children are separated but it can very well be "the perfect family." In fact this is the life of many now.
               We don't pursue our spouses anymore, we don't pursue our children, and most of all we don't pursue our Heavenly Father like we should. We are so worried about our homes being in pristine condition, being so caught up in our jobs, meeting deadlines, our phones, and what's going on in the social media world than in our own family's lives.
               Our spouse and children are sitting next to us craving our attention and we can't even given them that. We are drowning in the things of this world and are wondering why things are happening but a lot of it is because we obviously have put our priorities on the back burner. Our spouses are not burdens, our children are not burdens and we need to stop treating them as though they are.
                I get on my phone a lot once I am able to sit down and am most definitely portraying the wrong message to my family and I am doing my best to break this habit. I just want to drown out all the noise and everything around me especially if it was a rough day, but a lot of times I feel worse when getting off of it. That must say something in itself.
               I had a dream last night, an absolutely horrible one. I dreamt that my oldest daughter and I were in some sort of argument and all of a sudden I hear the words, "I hate you." I woke up feeling completely sick to my stomach. Words I never, ever want to hear from anyone of my children. I felt as though I was stabbed.
               It brought me back to the many arguments and tears that were shed with my mother. I can only imagine how she felt when I said such very harsh words to her when I was a teen. So this had me examine my life.
              I have been hit hard the past two weeks. I have felt so beaten to the core. I don't know if I'm going through a season of brokenness or what. I have realized when I discipline my words weren't bringing encouragement but really tearing them down. (It literally hurts to even write this.)
             Raising children is literally no joke. It's hard. So hard. I have been an emotional wreck lately because yes, I feel like I fail them so much. My love for them is undeniable. They are what I live for. I want the best for them. When they hurt, I hurt. When they succeed, I am one proud Momma. They make my heart ache with happiness because of how proud I am of them. My girls are literally the best. Yes, they disobey at times, they're children. I mean who doesn't mess up. This is only a season and before I know it they'll be grown and out of the house. I keep reminding myself of this.
             First of all I have messed up with not making God first in my life. I have made other things more important than my relationship with Him. I mean if I'm not pursuing Him what does it teach my children and it explains why I've been the way I've been with everyone including my husband.
             Each morning I have been praying that I can be gentle with my words and that my words brings life and are uplifting. That my words will build up my family and not break them down. Words are powerful. Very powerful. I of all people know this.
            No wonder we have so many "broken" families. We see where this world is going and it's because we have let others or things influence our way in thinking and behaving and it has taken a toll. After all ministry begins in the home and if the home is "broken" there is no ministry. Fix the home first then go elsewhere.
             My prayer is that I continue to pursue my relationship with my Heavenly Father and lay all things aside that really does not matter so that I can grow to have an ever deeper relationship and in that I'll be the wife and mother He has called me to be. With Him I find peace and joy.
           

                     *Just some personal thoughts I wanted to share.
         

Most Vulnerable

Things have been quite hard for me over the past few months, both emotionally and physically, that I've been in this rut, that I let completely take over my life and my joy. I was no longer happy, but stressed and tired, again both physically and emotionally. Many that I know may say that I had right to those feelings. I get it, I totally do. BUT in all honesty I chose these things to resonate inside of me and to bother me. The more I thought about these things the angrier or sadder I'd become. For me it's very challenging to just let things go. It always has been. I try my best but I hold onto alot, both good and bad. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I can remember such details over something so insignificant. I can't help it, it's just me. With that being said, I was incredibly hurt by some untruths that was said and I let that eat at me. I can make this thing get a lot bigger, which at the time I did, but until recently I decided to kind of let it go. It's hard to explain it.

You know that saying, "it takes more muscles to frown than to smile." Well it's true. It's so stressful to stay stressed. It takes too much energy than it does to just "breathe" and let things go. I'm trying to constantly remind myself of this. 

I have let myself become so weak. I had nothing else to give, I felt. Again, I did this. I let situations determine my mood. I let my emotions get the best of me. I stopped picking up my Bible. Again, I can make many excuses, all being legit excuses but non excusable. You make time. You simply make time and I didn't. I know God's grace so well  that I should have been running into His arms but in all craziness I put Him on the backburner of my life. Why? Because I didn't want to make the effort. I was so tired, so weak, I just didn't have the energy. Oh, but when He touched me at church, I became so broken, weeping before Him, trembling. I know I'm not speaking any foreign language to anyone who has been saved. I had wished that I had gone into my quiet place instead of putting Him on the back burner after all this had taken place. I was so broken, I was hurting, hurting on the inside. I don't want to feel that again. The only way I can explain it is a "heavenly spanking". If that even makes sense. It was an overwhelming of God's love, a complete overwhelming that I had not felt in such a long time that it was so overpowering and yet I hurt. I don't know how else to explain it. It's spiritual. 

I'm not sure if I'm just babbling on and on but my point I'm trying to get across is. I had become so weak, instead of taking control of the negativity, I let it take control of my life and my feelings. I let it steal my joy. It is in our weakness we become most vulnerable. And that's exactly what happened. I had become so vulnerable. Here I was letting the enemy just take control. It was as if I just handed power over to him, to steal my joy, to make life unbearably hard, to keep my eyes off of the good and on the negative things. I just handed power to him.

How easy it is for us to get wrapped up in our own little worlds and easily hand power to the enemy, unknowingly. 

I'm incredibly thankful for the way God just touched me, it opened my eyes in many ways, and I'm incredibly thankful for the people God paved into my life to impart wisdom. If those talks had not happened, I'd probably still be wallowing around feeling sorry for myself. But here I am, I'm giving my all to God. It is Christ in me. I am weak, He is strong. Here I had taken my eyes off Christ and I had become weak.  I was so focused on myself, but I am nothing absolutely nothing without Christ. He gives me the strength. It is He that is in me that moves, works, and has His way in me. (Acts 17:28)

I tend to forget as I'm sure many do, that we are not wrestling against flesh and blood. (Ephesians 6:12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.) I don't know how many times this was told to me in the past few months until I finally grasped it. Again this was after God just grabbed a hold of me in church. I was able to breathe. Although I know I'll still have to work on this, I can breathe a lot better than what I could. I was suffocating myself in everything, but here I choose to not let the enemy steal my joy. I choose to smile and will continue to remind myself to choose happiness despite circumstances. We need to continue to build up ourselves spiritually. When we become comfortable things can get dangerous real quick, when we put God on the back burner things can become dangerous real quick. Remember at our weakest moments we become the most vulnerable. We should never allow ourselves to ever get at that point, we need to remember to always no matter how tired we are to keep our eyes on Christ. I am REALLY speaking to myself here. I should never let circumstances get in the way of my relationship with Christ and here I did. If I stay prayed up, worded up, nothing can stand in my way. Constantly, constantly put on the armor of God. That is all that is on my mind right now as I'm writing this.

The armor of God is the only thing that will protect us each day as we are out there in the world. Nothing can stand in the way between me and God. Nothing can stand in the way between you and God when you take up the full armor. Right there is all that you and I need.  (Ephesians 6:12-17)

I'm in a battle as I know we all are of some sort, but I choose to trust God and put the armor on each day as I wake up. I have to, I need to, we all do. Remember this war is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and darkness... In the end, we win. Let's not get discouraged, let's not take our eyes off the prize, God's got us! We are HIS!!!

God has been ministering to me a lot through worship songs lately. This is one of them. Enjoy!  https://youtu.be/n_aVFVveJNs

Brokenness

Crazy how much time has passed. It's been quite a while. I guess it wasn't the time for me to actually blog. Now, I strongly feel it in my heart this is something I need to do. Maybe not even for you or anyone else, but for myself. I'm not quite sure, been battling it myself. For anyone who knows me well enough knows writing is the best way to get my feelings out. I've always struggled verbally explaining or going into depth about anything especially when I'm nervous. But give me pen and paper and I'm set. The only downfall, I write like I speak, as many has told me this. So bare with me. Ha!

Life has been quite hectic lately. It seems it always is in some way or another I'm learning, especially with three littles. Although tonight, I found myself in a situation that I was in as a teen. Here I was searching.... Searching for God. The only difference is the spiritual growth from then and now. This whole time in Louisiana God has been dealing with me. Well really, since Sunday after Pastor Kevin's sermon. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I completely was not expecting any of this until I just felt the Hand of God on me and that tugging in my heart. He was hitting every area that I've been struggling with. I was tearing up throughout the whole sermon and at the end I went up to the front and just broke with a baby on my hip. (I wonder now how that looked to people who did not know me or my face.) But the weakness and trembling in my body was something I had not experienced in such a long time. Brokeness before the Lord.

I have felt so far away from God lately that I've felt completely alone. My desires to read or bask in His word had diminished. Although I knew He was there but not feeling His presence at all and just feeling desolate, I just lost all desire to spend time in His presence. The only thing I could do was put on worship music and still I felt so empty and alone. Now, I never stopped completely reading or praying with the girls. I tried my best, especially when Amelia would ask.

I'm sure personal struggles and such has a lot to go along with that but it's never an excuse to stop praising and basking in His presence.

Tonight, so much has been on my mind. Some simple things that I have just completely missed and felt great being apart of again, my life, the example I'm leading. Just so much, that I have not been able to sleep. I came into the room and began to go through books. Found my old Bible in the process and began taking out books, searching, searching, and searching...I realized. I was searching for God. I sat on the bed and just cried out...not knowing what to say all I know is my heart was hurting at the time. I've felt so numb to many emotions lately that I feel they all came out at once and then the words just began to come. I have not been able to pray such a prayer about my life struggles lately. I had no words, like I said I have been in such a dry, desolate state, that has completely sucked. In all honesty I put myself there, though.  But tonight it all came out. The tears flowed. I'm still hurting, hurting a lot with things I'm personally dealing with. But for me to just become in a state of brokeness Sunday and tonight is a BIG step in the right direction. I know I'm not done, but I felt like I did when I was first searching out for Christ when I was young.

I wish I could tell you I feel so relieved and 100% better and all my problems are solved but sadly they are not. But brokeness is in fact what I very much need right now, I think that's where I'm at on my spiritual journey. I know in fact this may last a little while. I'm not looking forward to it at all but brokenness is what's needed in order for Him to mold me, shape me, form me, into the person He has called me to be.

Father, have your way in me!

Be That Person

I've come to the conclusion that I am just not that great at writing as I used to be. Being in that dark and depressed state of mind is why my writings were great, so to speak. I completely vented in them and everything I wrote was my life story. "They were so vivid, felt so real," some would say; that's because they were. I hid behind a pencil and paper telling everyone the truth, yet some didn't know how to perceive it, some were too naive and some just didn't care. But there it was all laid out in front of everyone. It was as if no one cared but it's not that, no one knew how to respond to what I was telling them. It was a shock! What was I supposed to expect from them, I was not that type of person, everyone thought. Depression is a real thing.

Depression began at a very young age for me but I did very well at covering it up, but when I was 13 life just took a turn around for me...completely. I was ripped out of my only comfort zone not able to tell any friends goodbye and a month or 2 later 3 days before my 14th birthday my only home I knew was put on fire by a family member. We didn't have much. We were a family of 3 at the time living in a run down one bedroom trailer.I was the first one that witnessed it of my mom and sister. Getting off the bus I was in utter disbelief, I immediately dropped everything and ran. In complete shock called my mom in tears telling her all we had was in smoke... little did I know life was going to be very different for me from that point on... Everything that I had once bottle up, started unraveling and coming out. I didn't know how to handle it. I really didn't.

Lost, confused, hurt, angry, that's when I started becoming the problem child so to speak. I said some hurtful things acted out in pure anger and frustration toward my mom and everyone else that I crossed paths with.  I did not know what was going on with me, I hated myself, hated life and all I wanted was out... The depression had taken so much control over my life that I literally could not sleep. It had gone on for about 3 months, I was like a walking zombie, literally. The muscles in my eye lids were just so physically tired I could no longer keep them open. I remember just crying because all I wanted was sleep. I was completely miserable. I really don't know how I got through school those few months, all I remember is having my head on the desk praying/hoping I'd fall asleep... I'm not sure what happened but eventually I was able to get sleep once again. It was quite strange how it all turned around so quickly really...

I wish I could say that was the end of the depression but it was not. I made a vow to myself when I was younger, I would not let my weight fall on my children's shoulders. Kids needs to be kids. I say this because I took on so much as a child. I was stressing over things only adults should be worried about not children. I remember being scared to ask my mother to get me something I needed because I didn't want to put more pressure on her. We definitely struggled. The fire was something completely hard for me to just "get over." We were put out of our home for 3 months and then made a new home. Bigger and much better and I just remember being thankful that there was a door for the bathroom and then I had my own room... I was so thankful. But see being a teenager you can get so blinded. You're thankful for all the things/people around you but depression it steals your joy. It can do so much damage to you that goes deeper than anyone can understand unless they dealt with it themselves. There are so many ways that people deal with it and so many ways that I dealt with it; but there is only one way to deal with it and that is SAFELY. I hid behind a mask and became so blinded with everything I was bound in that I saw no way out. I tried ending it more times than you can count on my finger and toes. I'm lucky...NO! I'm beyond blessed and grateful to be alive. I really believe I should not be here and there is only one reason why. God had His hand over my life.

You see I've been wanting to write this for some time but I did not know how. I did not want to go into detail about everything because I just get a gut wrenching feeling and feel sick honestly when I think about the things I used to do. The pain and hurt I caused, I don't wish on anyone. Details are for the right moment and time and right now I don"t believe is.

So many think medicine can cure depression, it can't. I was sent to a psychiatrist and prescribed them. They made me even more angrier and upset. The meds were making me gain weight and not helping at all. I hated them.  I believe they are only a band aid covering it up and not getting to the root of the problem. You have to get to the root.

Depression is a real thing and it can suck your life away. If you know ones who are depressed, dealing with it in the wrong ways, don't ignore them. Please, don't. Let them know people care. Be a listening ear, hear them out. Sometimes that's all people want, just to be heard. Never ignore anyone asking for help, always be that person. You never know what can happen if you turn your cheek and walk away. I believe that only the revelation of God's love and grace can truly bring freedom to anyone struggling with anything, but you being that light always, always helps.

Just felt like I needed to write this. I know so many are hurting and asking for help in ways that they only know how. I'll be a listening ear to anyone who needs it. You can to. Be that person...

Are you Being Decieved???

Written when I was 18...

Deception=Satan's strongest tactic.

I am so upset with the church today because we as a whole have misinterpreted the Bible. We don't have a true revelation of God's truth. How many sermons have you been in where they give you steps as to becoming a "better" Christian. We get a list of Do's and Don'ts. What's wrong with that. We hear we can't do this, we can't do that, we have to do this, we have to do that. I'm sorry but if that's what it means to be a Christian, I want no part in it. There's no joy, and with Christ, He gives us joy.
It all balls down to Our Identity. Christians today don't know who they really are, and pastors and leaders are also included in this. In the mornings my mom usually has the TV on with some pastor preaching in the mornings, but some of the things they are saying/teaching doesn't line up with my spirit, and I can go to the Bible and point out where it says otherwise.
Pastors, Leaders, Teachers, just Christians in general have taught me to live a life of always asking for forgiveness, I had a sin conscience, always scared I was going to mess up. Now think about it for a minute, "Does God want us to live a life of always living on the edge, scared we might mess up?" I was always taught ask for forgiveness always when you mess up, so I was constantly messing up and asking for forgiveness over every BIG and little thing, and asking God to forgive me of my sins I didn't even know I committed. It was bad, and me living the life of rules, I can't do this, I have to do this, just gave me fuel to sin more. Because there is no way that we can keep all those standards...NO WAY possible. And guess who's teaching us this, the church, not saying that it's your church, it's churches in general. It's sad, but it's true, it's happening, and it's a chain reaction.
So didn't Jesus die for our sins. Was it just our past sins? No, past, present, and future. Think about it this way were we physically alive when Jesus was crucified, no so that day when Jesus died wouldn't that place our sins in the future since we weren't even born yet?
When we are constantly asking for forgiveness we're putting Christ back on the cross. Jesus died once and for all. He was our ultimate sacrifice. We've been forgiven for all our sins. But that's where repentance comes in, we have to live in a constant renewal of our mind.
The church's mindset is still in legalism. Jesus came and fulfilled the law. All the law brought was the knowledge of sin, showing us that we can't live without Christ. It's not on our own performances but Christ performing through us. When we try to do the right things we find that we often fail because we find that we can't do things out of our own strength but the strength of God.
Also we find in this scripture:

Galatians 2:19-20 (New King James Version)

19 For I through the law died to the law that I might live to God. 20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

When we were first born, we were born in Adam, sinners, but when we are born again, we are born in Christ. Therefore are we still "sinners saved by grace." Because it says "I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me."
Our old man has died, so if Christ lives in me what does that make me? Well I am no longer a sinner. Christ lives His life through me so think of it like this, "I am a saint, who sometimes sin." that sounds a lot better, now doesn't it.

2 Corinthians 5:17-20 (New King James Version)

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 18 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
20 Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.

Since Christ is righteous what does that make us since Christ lives His life through us, it is "no longer I who live but Christ lives in me." So does that make me righteous since He is righteous?

2 Corinthians 5:21 (New King James Version)

21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

The book of Ephesians list the blessings we have in Christ.

Christ is our deliverer, healer, redeemer, etc. So why tell Christians it'd be a process to being delivered or you have to do this or that to be healed all we have to do is trust and believe what God's word says. He gives life not death. We blame God for a lot of things such as deaths, sicknesses, tragedies, etc, but it's not God. Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy. Yes that's a well known scripture but it seems people aren't still getting the simple truth of this scripture.

God has given us life, not death.

Oh and so many thinks that things has to be a process as for deliverence for example of things were struggling with. Well the only deliverer there is is Jesus. He's the only one who can deliver us. It's not a process just receive what Christ has given us. Receive what we have in Christ. Trust and believe and know who you are in Christ. Because when we get the revelation our old sin nature has died and then we're made alive in Christ, our whole mindset changes. It's not the matter that I "can't" do this, it's the fact I "don't want" to do this and it's not the fact I "have" to do this, it's the fact I "want" to do this. Because we now have the mind of Christ.
When we have a list of things to do and not to do and processes to do this to be blessed or steps to anything else, that's law. What did Jesus come to fulfill so we would no longer be bound to it?

Matthew 5:17 (New King James Version)

Christ Fulfills the Law
  
17 “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill.

There's only one thing the law produces...

Romans 3:20 (New King James Version)

20 Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

Romans 5:20-21 (New King James Version)

20 Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

So when we are born again we are no longer under the law. All unbelievers are condemned because all they have is the law, but when we're born again, the law; we're no longer bound to. We're freed from the law.

Romans 6:14 (New King James Version)

14 For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.

We have authority now over everything. We are alive and Christ is living through us and we're righteous because he is righteous. How awesome is that!?!

1 John 3:7 (New International Version)

7Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as He is righteous.

Now does that mean we may mess up sometimes? Yes, it does, but don't beat yourselves up about it, trust in what God has done and move on. We have to live a life of repentance, it's a life of constantly renewing your mind. It's a change of mind...

Remember we have been forgiven once and for all.
We are righteous because He is righteous and He lives His life through us.
We are no longer under law but under grace.
We have authority.
We are healed and delivered from anything that has kept us bound.
We just have to trust and believe what Christ has given us.

Now if this isn't a message for someone to give their life to Christ, to want what we believers have, I don't know what will.

God is such a gracious God. The law was only there to show us we can't live this life alone, we need Him, and He was so gracious and merciful to send His son to fulfill the law...When was it fulfilled? At the cross, "It is finished." We have been forgiven once and for all there is nothing we do to be forgiven, we just accept, trust, and believe. WOW!!! God is a gracious God!

The weight of the world

I feel Like life has changed drastically over the past few days, yet it hasn't. I just know that God is doing a work in my life. I felt empty and alone for a while, doing everything I knew to feel Him, but that was the problem I was just wrapped around "doing." I fell back into my old habit, I kept just doing and doing and worrying about things which I have no control over. After getting off the phone with a friend a few days back, late that night I was just left thinking. Finally I felt as if God was just speaking to me. I needed to start resting in the finished work of Christ. It's so easy to get side tracted and take things in our own hands and that's when things start going crazy. I needed to sit back, rest, trust God that He is doing what's best for us, and no matter what we will be taken care of. The joy that I have felt over the past few days I haven't felt in such a long time. I finally feel His loving arms wrapped tightly around me.

     It's so easy to fall back into the law mind-set when we take our eyes off the finished work of Christ. It's so easy to start focusing on just the natural when our eyes are taken off of Christ. With God all things are possible --- when keeping my eyes on Christ I see the supernatural.

   I just couldn't get words out of my head that was spoke to me a little over a month ago. Focusing on that, it seemed things started to go further downhill. Now I'm using these words as a motivation in trusting God that He knows what's best for our family. I was looking for so much acknowledgement/approval because of the things that have been said and eyes that have looked down upon us. It hurt me greatly and I started feeling so lonely and completely misunderstood. Fact is, no one knows our situation like we do, no one knows what's best for our family other than us and God. No matter how many negative words or looks that we recieve towards our decisions we know we're doing something right, simply because our trust is in God. Where we were three years ago compared to today is completely a miracle. God has enrichly blessed us. Something God revealed to me, (something I knew, but had to be reminded of) I'm not the standard girl. I'm a bit old school, another reason why I'm looked at differently. The scriptures that I have read since that night God has revealed to me that no matter what words are being said I am doing something right. I am so far from perfect you can ask anyone who really knew me in Louisiana or my husband, no one knows my past like they do. I still have issues that I struggle with but when God showed me the things that He has in the past few days what a relief I felt. I don't need anyone's approval. God already loves me the way that I am and having my husband and daughter makes it even better. Acceptance is always something I struggled with but it's not what's important. All that matters is that I'm accepted by the One on high, what more can I ask for. No matter what His love is unconditional and He is with us every step of the way. Our trust is completely in God and He reamains faithful. No matter what any one says or does we feel in our heart what we are doing is what's best for us and we ask God to guide us in all things.

We need no one's approval other than His! We simply need to let the world stop defining who we are, we are Children of God. God always remains faithful and provides for His children.

Children - Our Greatest Imitators

      I am constantly learning from my daughter. Over the past few weeks she has been mimicking me in so many ways. This encourages me but frightens me greatly. While we were listening to Spirit 105.9 the other day, Amelia lifts her hands in the air, eyes squinted, spinning, and just singing aloud. She was praising! That made my heart melt. I was simply amazed at what she was doing, and she continues to do it. This encourages me to continue reading to her, continue playing praise and worship music, and continue praying with her as a family. I get so frightened because it seems as if she is imitiating my every move. I have to be on my toes all the time. I have said/done/and watched things in front of her that should not have been. We know we all have so I'm not afraid to say this. But I do know that I want to raise my daughter in the best way possible. I don't want to tell her not to do something as she gets older and she sees me doing the very thing I asked her not to. This world is full of hypocrisy, especially in the church, and I especially don't want to fall in that category. I am continuously asking God to strenghten me, give me the right heart in every situation and circumstance and to speak through me. I want my daughter to come from a strong Christian background. I want her to know who she is in Christ. I know as I continue to do these things, with God guiding us, she will be in great hands. I guess it is a good thing that it does frighten me because it pushes me to do right, not just in front of her but all the time.

     It's funny how we are constantly learning from her as we are the ones teaching her. The pureness and love that a child has can teach us so many things. It pushes me to be the best mother I can be for her, although I do know the world will try to distort her view, this is the very reason why we teach her this early on. Love can break so many obstacles and bring so much freedom and as she gets older I want her to know and remember truely what love is. We, her parents, can only teach her this. This is why we must stay grounded in who we are!